Can you Love me with my Chin Hair?

What happens in relationships when the glamour wears off?

Literally, today I plucked a Chin Hair.

If ONLY I had the tenacity that chin hair does- I would change the world. 

I swear it's been the same chin hair since I was 20 years old. 

And there were times when I was SINGLE that I sincerely was concerned about it. 

The "illusion" of having a hairless chin falling apart. 

What would happen if I didn't notice it in time and my future husband saw it?

(this is real thoughts of this crazy head)

It would play out like a scene from a movie- the shock occurring and the personal zoom of the camera as it zeros in on the emotional reaction of JUST the face of the lead actress or actor. 

Chin Hair Travesty.

In my rose journal- the one I kept through the hardest year of my teenage life; the one where I wrote about having an eating disorder, self hate, a boyfriend betraying me, my teen mean girl friend group hating on me, etc. ; I remember writing about masks. 

"We all wear masks. The masks we think are acceptable and love worthy. We put energy and time and fervor into these masks and are continually afraid that people will see behind them. We HAVE to keep up the facade. Never really saying anything deep, never getting real or authentic, never BEING ME/YOU/WHOEVER... because if you do- IF You let the REAL you be seen- it can be rejected. Holding up the mask means we are loved for it- or hated for it; but it's okay- because the REAL YOU is safe. The REAL you is hidden and protected from the damage of being turned away or turned upon. The only thing is- you can't trust anyone. You can't see anyone. And you dream and die for that REAL Connection. The mask-less. You and they with barriers down. Every friendship, every connection- unsatisfying."

We are becoming a technologically advanced world- with amazing steps for humanity occurring ... and some backwards ones too. 

With instagram and social media we have the ability to put out and on the glamours. More than ever before. More than when I was teen. 

The filters over our skin and faces, add make up- change background- add voice changes, etc. 

Live in a virtual reality and project one. 

Share feeds about the perfect life or create a personal avatar- the IMAGE you want to appear to the world to be. 

WE ALL DO IT to an extent. We ALL share what looks good in the picture- I share the sunset with the enhanced colors or use the app that lightens my wrinkles as much as anyone- but I am also aware of the falsehood. 

I see it. 

I see what we are creating and that we must voice it and share to be aware- more importantly that we make our next generation aware. 

I'm one of the old ones. 

I'm one of the ones that lived before internet and filters. 

Our kids, teens, and youth are being pushed to live and create the perfect life- be perfect, appear perfect, and project images of perfection. 

Our kids, teens, and youth are falling out of this world via depression, addiction, and suicide in unprecedented numbers. 

The nitty gritty ugly and gross aren't seen anywhere. The closest we get to it are in those edited instagram pics with beautiful tears and posed captures of our "bad day guys- keeping it real" posts. 

We are robbing ourselves or REAL LOVE.

The real love that sees the bad days without make up and food stained favorite sweatshirts and the afternoon that you just simply LOSE your cool and act like a jerk. The REAL part of life when you don't know the answers and aren't sure what to do. When we aren't posed against the sunrise in yoga pants, but sitting in torn jeans eating our SECOND pint of ice cream watching re-runs of OFFICE. 

The relationships that give permission for REAL. 

Permission for the MASK to be shredded and thrown away. 

We SEEK, WE CRAVE the idea of being LOVED for "JUST ME" for that AUTHENTIC connection and deep soul LOVE- but don't dare to show our REAL SELVES. 

We wonder if we are seeing the REAL of others. We are suspicious of the images and also HOPE that the billboard advertisement of "THEM" is true. That they REALLY are the person they say so on Tinder or Facebook... while simultaneously leaving out crucial facts about ourselves. Keeping our "need to know basis" cards close to the chest. 

We want what we don't give. 

How do we overcome it? How to do we shift it? 

First; by being authentic. (You can still have the IG filters) But saying what we TRULY feel- not just what is popular. 

By allowing ourselves to "go out" without having to be ALL DONE UP. 

By asking bold questions and risking answering the truth inside you.

By dropping the mask and letting the people who will walk away - walk away.

By being willing to be alone and at peace versus surrounded by those who wouldn't stand by you "if they only knew."

I can share from experience- those who only stay while the mask is there: the people who are there when you are the cool one, the rich one, the popular one; are like expiring yogurt in the fridge. You know EVENTUALLY it's going to go sour. It's just a matter of time. 

So many people are walking around hurt and lonely and wishing for their true love to come along- and they'll never have it because they aren't willing to RISK being who they truly are. 

TRUE love only is possible through TRUTH. 

AND- most importantly: when we can look at our own selves in the mirror- chin hair or not and LOVE what we see; accept who we are and have the courage to be seen and known as ALL of it- that is the power that changes your life. 

When we can LOVE ourselves with the chin hair. LOVE ourselves with the cellulite. LOVE ourselves with the empty bank account- then life and it's illusions have no power over us. We stand in our own.

We are open to give and receive. We are open to inspire. We give permission to everyone around us to burn their masks too. To BE who they are. To BE SEEN and to BE LOVED for it.

UNMASKED BY KATIE JO

(A photographic series of unmasking)