Advice I wish I had before I was a Mother
Before I became a mother, I wish I had known how both unimportant and vital routine can be. That school grades don’t measure the heart and soul of a child. That every child is different, and while parenting classes and guidelines have their place, my child is mine—ultimately, my decisions about their life belong to me.
Motherhood feels raw and wild, like a kite on a string whipped by the wind—left, right, sideways, and back again. Just when I thought I had figured out how to be a mother, life arrived with a new challenge that made me question everything.
If I could give one piece of advice to a new mother, it would be this: simply BE. Be as present as you can, as often as you can. Hire help if you need to. Trade if you need to—childcare, cleaning, cooking, laundry. Because self-care IS child care. Pause. Witness your child in their own radiant uniqueness. Take the pressure off trying to be the "best" mom—just be there.
I wish I had known that everything I did wasn’t make or break. That it isn’t selfish to hold on to the part of myself that is still me. That I didn’t need to disappear into some mythical version of "best mom ever." That Katie was enough. That Katie as a mom was simply Katie, mothering the best way she knew how. That change would come, that I would evolve, that I would make mistakes—and yes, some of those mistakes my children would bear. But I would also get it right. I would do phenomenal things. I would be proud of them for moments that seem small to the world—like my four-year-old placing his plate in the sink after eating.
Some people are naturally gifted at parenting. Some struggle. But children are resilient. And above all else, the most important thing is to show up and say "I love you." Admit your mistakes. Claim your triumphs.
The truth is, when we reach the end of our lives and look back, none of us will wish we had worked harder, earned more, or checked off every box. We will all wish for more time—for just one more moment with the people we love. We would trade every worldly treasure to relive those nights in the rocking chair, holding our sleeping babies.
But life is full of pressures—bills, deadlines, responsibilities, turmoil. And it’s okay that not every moment was shared. It’s okay that I shut my bedroom door or took a solo drive just to escape the very souls I would give my life for.
Motherhood, parenting—it’s complex. There is no single right way. There is no path without obstacles.
But keep going.
Keep climbing.
Carry on.
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