Financial Advice Single Parent 101

Corona Virus.

I recently read a statistic saying that the majority of Americans can’t withstand a $400 emergency. 

The Article was accusatory of the government for not providing for us citizens in lieu of a pandemic, for minimum wage being raised, taxes being out of control, and for medical compensation etc.

Ironically, to me, anytime you point fingers in the same article demanding government funding as well as lower taxes; it devalues the whole claim- simply because it’s contradicting itself.

I mulled this article over in my head for a while, and this blog post is in reflection of that. 

I spent almost a decade as a single mother. 

I remember selling my sofa, my beds, my table and chairs, my diamond ring, my clothing and everything that had of any value at all to feed my kids. 

I started businesses, took photography sessions for almost nothing, painting commissions for barely over cost of supplies… to feed my kids. 

Over and over again, my dear friend, a professional social worker, helped me fill out the forms for Medicaid, food stamps, free college education… and time and time again I didn’t submit them. 

I had too much pride. 

(I AM NOT RECOMMENDING this to anyone else)

As a Public Speaker, there were times I was asked to present at events, and I had to check my bank account to see if I could afford the extra gas money to make it- before I agreed. 

I’m sharing this- because along the way I learned some really valuable LIFE Hacks that saved the day over and over and over. 

I’m not rich, I’ve never been rich, but as a single mom for almost a decade, with income that could have qualified for all the government programs; I had one year’s worth of savings set aside, my credit card and my car paid off. 

So, I know, absolutely know it’s possible for just about anyone. 

I’m not special.

If I can do it- you can.

And, I wanted to share some tips that I implemented and used the whole way.

1^st: Read the book The FOUR SPIRITUAL LAWS of PROSPERITY by Edwene Gaines.

Here's the link to Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Four-Spiritual-Laws-Prosperity-Unlimited/dp/1594861951/ref=sr_1_3?crid=13FXE3MUZCSJR&dchild=1&keywords=edwene+gaines+the+four+spiritual+laws+of+prosperity&qid=1584035365&sprefix=edwene+g%2Caps%2C188&sr=8-3

2^nd: Whatever HONEST thing you need to do to get a $100-dollar bill- DO IT. 

Cash is king. 

Having ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in your wallet IS PROSPERITY. 

This is a RITUAL, a practice of self-discipline and abundance and Feng Shui.

Let me explain:

$100 is enough money to eat for a week. I knew with $100 I could buy myself and my kids’ food for a week. With $100 in my wallet- I felt a security that I don’t feel when money is in the bank. 

When I had NO money in the bank and had a BILL in my pocket- I went to the store and walked around seeing the items on the shelves and instead of dreaming or wishing I could get them… I thought “I could get that if I really wanted it.” 

This is abundance. MOST of the time, I found that it wasn’t that important to me. NOT more important than the security of knowing I had groceries for a week for my kids.

I knew that if Sh*t went down, the lights were turned off and the collections agents were at the door-I could buy myself a week- I could figure anything out. I.E. sell my couch. 

WHY it HAS to be a $100 BILL and NOT smaller amounts- because you don’t break a BILL for McDonalds. 

I’m like EVERYONE else. 

I’m tired after work and would rather pick up fast food for the family than cook.

My kids ask for dollar store toys or ice cream cones, or Corn Nuts at the Gas Station and when you have smaller bills you BREAK THEM for these types of things.

In our minds we say, “It’s only $5, $2.59, $1.50 etc.…” and we HAND over our cash.

When we have a BILL… and our kids ask for a Pez dispenser of Mickey Mouse… we say “No, I’m not breaking a Hundred for that.” 

The BILL teaches us discipline from a place of POWER not lack.

3^rd: TITHING.

Ouch. 

Did I really just say TITHING. 

Yep. 

This Shaman, non-religious, non-conformist just mic-dropped a Spiritual Law of Prosperity on the page. 

Like it or not, Tithing is a Spiritual Law. It alone, could save the world. 

Here is the LAW:

BEFORE you do anything else, pay 10% of your money to whomever or whatever inspires you. 

(notice I DID NOT SAY CHURCH)

Here is the principle:

If you GIVE from a place of GRATITUDE and TRUST… you send a powerful message out to the COSMOS that you have MORE than enough to provide for you. 

You send the frequency out that you are generous and provided for.

You send the declaration out with FAITH that more MOOOOLLLLAH is coming. 

You send the message that you are grateful for those who are making the world a better place.

You actively engage in the FLOW of MONEY- you can’t be HOLDING and STAGNATING energy and expect it to ALSO FLOW to you.

Now, here’s the key point- this IS NOT CHARITY. 

This is to be given to those who INSPIRE you.

Could that be religion? Sure. 

For me, I have found it POWERFUL and LIFE TRANSFORMING to ACTIVELY look and seek for where I am receiving Inspiration.

Sometimes it’s a person. Sometimes it’s an organization. Sometimes it’s an author. 

By actively looking for inspiration- I’m never limited to one religion and I’m also ACTIVELY involved in my own growth. 

Guess what, it’s harder BUT WAY MORE FULFILLING than writing out a check like a robot to the place you hang your hat on Sundays. 

If you are a church goer- I am asking you to stop “phoning it in” if you are already paying tithing. 

The way the LAW works- is by ACTIVELY giving energy to it. NOT by following the book or checking the boxes. 

4^th: SAVINGS

Did you just whisper “Damnit”?

This morning was a big deal. 

My 11-year-old asked me how I saved money. 

I opened up my bank accounts online and SHOWED HIM.

Have ONE account with $1000 in it. (I think I took this guidance from DAVE RAMSEY)

This account is for EMERGENCIES. 

This $1000 is more time pressing than paying off ANY DEBT. 

link to his site:

https://www.daveramsey.com/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Lampo%20-%20Dave%20Ramsey%20Keywords%20-%20Bing&utm_content=Dave%20Ramsey&utm_term=dave%20ramsey&utm_id=bi_cmp-135391_adg-52712579_ad-78958699428213_kwd-20563394815:loc-190_dev-c_ext-_prd-&msclkid=4720c0aa27f31256df389ec0508f9b11

Pay MINIMUM on all your payments in order to get this $1000.

Guess why?

If you make extra payments on your cc and car payments without the $1000, then the moment your tire gets a flat- you rack up your CC again paying for the repair BECAUSE you had no emergency fund.

ONCE that Fund is there- pay off your debt. 

There’s a strategy to do that but I don’t want to talk about it here too much.

Basically, pay as much as you can on ONE debt, the smallest debt and KNOCK IT OUT. 

Then the next and the next. 

IF you do a little on a lot of different accounts… you end up not making as big as difference. 

Once DEBT is paid off- SAVE 3 months of income.

HOW???? You may ask.

Here’s how I do:

I get paid.

I pay tithing.

I look at the NEXT time I get paid and calculate how much it will take me to LIVE (gas, groceries…) to get to that date. Including a small buffer.

Let's say: $200.

EVERYTHING beyond that $200… goes into SAVINGS. 

Yep. 

Everything.

Damnit. 

Here’s what happens…. It’s magick.

When my kids ask for the Nintendo Switch- I don’t say “Yes.” 

I don’t say “I don’t have money for that.” 

I say “That isn’t really a priority right now. If you really want it- I’ll support you in earning it through extra chores around the house that I’ll pay you for.” 

AND… MORE times than not- they don’t want to put in the effort. 

So, they are learning prioritizing too. 

I never say; “We can’t afford that.” Which teaches my kids poverty mentality. 

True story: I got my house dusted yesterday by an 11-year-old who wants a Lego Set. Amazon Prime has it on the way as I type.

Here’s MORE of the MAGICK of savings- you can start a business. You can follow your dreams. Because you HAVE the money to buy the supplies, take a loss, give to charity, take a risk.

If you are printing this ARTICLE- UNDERLINE this NEXT PART:

SAVE FIRST. SAVE FIRST. SAVE FIRST.

Savings sets you free.

You will NEVER be CREATIVE and DIG TO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL… to set aside SAVINGS.

But if you have SAVINGS that you DON’T touch unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY,

you will DIG DEEP and get CREATIVE to feed your kids, to pay the utilities, to make rent/mortgage.

When people say, “I can’t save, I don’t have the money.” My heart hurts for them because I KNOW they are robbing themselves!

You will do whatever it takes to do what’s necessary when you’re motivated, and that just doesn’t happen with savings… but it does to survive. 

Needing funds for food for my kids… gave me the catalyst I needed to create businesses and develop my art to the extent that people would PAY me for it. 

Don’t take this away from yourself. 

Don’t cop out. 

Savings will lead you to your LIFE PURPOSE.

5^th: CHRISTMAS

Christmas. 

HUM BUG.

For single mom’s "Christmas" is like saying “boogie man”

When you are BARELY making it month by month and December comes… single mom’s cry.

I start SAVING for CHRISTMAS in January. 

Here’s TWO WAYS:

First; Coins. 

I have a big JUG in my bedroom that all my coins and small cash bills goes in. ALL YEAR. 

In October- we tally it up and I know how much of a gap I need to close financially for Christmas and I also have 2 months to do it. 

The second way is to simply open a bank account labeled CHRISTMAS and save.

Labeling it CHRISTMAS instead of “Savings” is a big deal. At my Credit Union I have multiple accounts and I can name them what I want. 

As a mom, you have to be in a pretty hard place to take money out of an account titled CHRISTMAS. Trust me- you don’t do it for a nice pair of high heels. (Or loan to that ONE friend who's ALWAYS broke but PROMISES to pay you back when things get better.)

$2000 for Christmas… is about $170 a month. Which is about $40 a week… roughly one Fast FOOD stop for a small family (or one Polynesian husband.) 

$40 a week to save or create is pretty easy. 

You can sell hand sanitizer or toilet paper for profit and make that. ;)

Mow a couple of your neighbors’ lawns.

Watch kids for a friend’s date night.

Turn off lights around the house to cut bills.

Join an MLM.

Or sell a couch… (my go to) ;)

So… let me see if there’s anything else I want to mention…

Oh, I guess just this:

6th:Reward yourself. 

Most people budget burn-out because they are so tired of being white knuckled… they binge. 

They binge by getting a giant TV, going on a TRIP, or little binge by getting $7 Starbucks every morning.

Set a financial goal.

My first one was to get $1000 in savings.

I decided if I could do that, I would reward myself on a totally selfish splurge of $100.

THIS IS IMPORTANT. 

We HAVE to live. 

WE HAVE TO ENJOY LIFE. 

It’s what it’s for. 

The splurge doesn’t have to be financial- it could be taking a day off work; or watching 8 hours of Netflix.

So many times, we set goals and once we achieve them- we don’t pause to acknowledge our success. We immediately set another goal and are in CONSTANT spinning of the RAT RACE WHEEL. ENERGETICALLY, it creates the sense of NOTHING IS EVER ENOUGH. 

Set a goal, write a reward you’ll give yourself, and then achieve and celebrate. 

Here’s my SUMMMMMMMING UP for any of you who made it THIS far.

1^st: Read

2^nd: $100

3^rd: $1000 and DEBT Pay off

4^th: Saving

5^th: Christmas

6^th: REWARD

I hope this makes a difference for you.

Other experts can talk to you about investments and retirement etc. 

I can tell you that these steps work. 

I can tell you how to get out of the muck as a struggling parent with one income. 

I can tell you how to LIFE HACK shopping for groceries and school clothes etc. (maybe another article)

But for now- Start where you are with these steps.