Healing Grief takes Time, and Courage

We say that the only cure for grief is time. 

But I propose that the grief takes courage. 

 

Time is necessary because it takes time to be courageous. 

 

Courageous to face each new day and moment without someone you love and miss. 

Courage to live a life without someone you feel like life is meaningless without. 

Courage to find meaning when you wish you could give up. 

Courage to live and find joy for yourself and the other people you love. 

Courage not to give up. 

Courage to love others with abandon- to love them fully; knowing how fragile life is. 

 

Time is necessary because as time passes- we expand our experiences. We face a birthday without our missing loved one, we spend a holiday without them, we go to our favorite restuarants, hear our favorite song, watch the sunrise and sunset- without them; and as we do- we learn that we can make it through. 

 

We learn that we can find the good and grace in spite of the hollow ache and memories that haunt us. 

We learn that while the grief doesn’t seem to lessen; our capacity to live with it does. 

We begin to practice loving without fear of loss while we are always aware that loss is possible. 

 

All of these experiences take time to occur and with each experience, we must have courage to move through them. 

 

Out of nowhere, with no warning, GRIEF will wash over you in the most random places; sometimes publicly, like a grocery store. It won’t make sense and you’ll be weeping in the bread isle with strangers hushing their voices as they pass you, it’s embarrassing and humbling. And it takes courage to allow the grief to BE. 

 

The moment passes and you lift your head, wiping your face on your sleeve and courageously finish your shopping while other patrons look sideways toward you. 

 

With every melt down and every ache; there comes with it a knowing that you can get through it. A surrendering to grief and resolve simultaneously. 

 

You don’t take moments for granted anymore or bite your tongue to speak another time. You acknowledge yourself and the moments and actively force yourself to find the good in life- as a matter of survival. 

 

The expansion of love inside you grows as you face every day and moment and holiday with COURAGE. Oftentimes with courage when you would rather not. Courage that comes from the understanding that you would prefer not to be called upon by the powers that be- to have courage at all. 

 

We use our prayers, and books, crystals, and sage. We read the cards and meditate- thinking we can somehow waylay the path and journey of grief- but the truth is: that’s all part of it. 

 

Grief is a road we all will travel someday and there are no shortcuts. 

There is only time and courage as you walk step by step. 

No more- and no less. 

The path is sacred. 

The path is holy. 

 

And… the path is JUST. 

It honors the one we miss and honors the love we share.