The Woman Who Changed My Life... I never met
Life brought upon our family the loss of my Grandpa Jack to Cancer.
My dear Grandma Jean was in mourning and loss for quite some time- living alone in a big house and a small town she was broken-hearted.
The decision was made my Sophomore year that I would live in Moore, Idaho, population average of 100 people, the rural community of farmers with Grandma Jean.
Our town had a gas station, post office, small grocery store, and bar. All sat in a short row next to the city park that every winter was flooded and made into an ice rink. :)
The townspeople of Moore, all knew one another by name. My Grandpa had been a rancher and like most of the population there, spent their days and nights tending to the cattle or to the harvests that fed them.
My days were vaguely the same. Clean, cook, garden, quilt, watch TV- at the end of the day with Grandma while we crocheted.
One day in Spring we had stopped at the grocery store.
I was on the perimeters of the action, as was normal. Grandma was chatting with the store owner over the counter while we processed through the groceries and I waited.
Grandma knew everyone, was friends with everyone, and often these chats lasted a while. I was used to it and it simultaneously made me into an observer of others.
I would sit patiently, and silently and be the witness.
The woman passed through the aluminum and glass door.
Her hair was blond and pulled back. Wisps of curl had escaped her tieback and framed her face with the sunlight behind her, Her eyes were piercing blue. Shockingly blue. If she noticed me she didn't appear to. Her feather filled coat was navy colored, and worn but not worn out. It was a coat that was worked in and her Carhart golden coveralls were beneath that.
No Make up. No nail polish.
I believe she had leather work gloves in her side pocket. She was beautiful. Fit, healthy.
Nothing was spectacular about her appearance but WHY she has stayed in my mind all these 20 years... is HER PRESENCE.
She was rarely seen in town and had just come down from the mountains. She lived among the forest. She herded animals.
Her presence was gentle power. The essence of KNOWING who she was. No public facades or pretenses of appearing to be something she wasn't.
She was kind, polite, and concise in her language. Friendly but not overly complimentary.
I could FEEL something different in her.
A solid place. An Ocean of character and stability.
And then.
She left.
I remember looking for a dark blue coat for school the next year. Just because I identified it with that experience. Because it represented to me Her. A reminder.
I never found one.
Every so often I remember her.
The way I felt around her.
She never spoke to me.
She shopped for whatever supplies she came for.
She left.
And yet- I could FEEL the wealth of her frequency on the planet. JUST by her walking it.
This is who I intend to emulate.
I have since experienced many people. World leaders, politicians, and monetarily affluent people.
I have RARELY encountered another I would say had the same POWER that emanated from them- as she did.
Perhaps Maya Tiwari...
it was that profound.
And.... Whomever she is.
She will never know the impact she made on me.
May I be like her.
May I live in whatever truth I have. Not so that others FEEL me... but that I am authentically me.
Unafraid to be so.
My dear Grandma Jean was in mourning and loss for quite some time- living alone in a big house and a small town she was broken-hearted.
The decision was made my Sophomore year that I would live in Moore, Idaho, population average of 100 people, the rural community of farmers with Grandma Jean.
Our town had a gas station, post office, small grocery store, and bar. All sat in a short row next to the city park that every winter was flooded and made into an ice rink. :)
The townspeople of Moore, all knew one another by name. My Grandpa had been a rancher and like most of the population there, spent their days and nights tending to the cattle or to the harvests that fed them.
My days were vaguely the same. Clean, cook, garden, quilt, watch TV- at the end of the day with Grandma while we crocheted.
One day in Spring we had stopped at the grocery store.
I was on the perimeters of the action, as was normal. Grandma was chatting with the store owner over the counter while we processed through the groceries and I waited.
Grandma knew everyone, was friends with everyone, and often these chats lasted a while. I was used to it and it simultaneously made me into an observer of others.
I would sit patiently, and silently and be the witness.
The woman passed through the aluminum and glass door.
Her hair was blond and pulled back. Wisps of curl had escaped her tieback and framed her face with the sunlight behind her, Her eyes were piercing blue. Shockingly blue. If she noticed me she didn't appear to. Her feather filled coat was navy colored, and worn but not worn out. It was a coat that was worked in and her Carhart golden coveralls were beneath that.
No Make up. No nail polish.
I believe she had leather work gloves in her side pocket. She was beautiful. Fit, healthy.
Nothing was spectacular about her appearance but WHY she has stayed in my mind all these 20 years... is HER PRESENCE.
She was rarely seen in town and had just come down from the mountains. She lived among the forest. She herded animals.
Her presence was gentle power. The essence of KNOWING who she was. No public facades or pretenses of appearing to be something she wasn't.
She was kind, polite, and concise in her language. Friendly but not overly complimentary.
I could FEEL something different in her.
A solid place. An Ocean of character and stability.
And then.
She left.
I remember looking for a dark blue coat for school the next year. Just because I identified it with that experience. Because it represented to me Her. A reminder.
I never found one.
Every so often I remember her.
The way I felt around her.
She never spoke to me.
She shopped for whatever supplies she came for.
She left.
And yet- I could FEEL the wealth of her frequency on the planet. JUST by her walking it.
This is who I intend to emulate.
I have since experienced many people. World leaders, politicians, and monetarily affluent people.
I have RARELY encountered another I would say had the same POWER that emanated from them- as she did.
Perhaps Maya Tiwari...
it was that profound.
And.... Whomever she is.
She will never know the impact she made on me.
May I be like her.
May I live in whatever truth I have. Not so that others FEEL me... but that I am authentically me.
Unafraid to be so.
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